Look Who Is Suing Whom

JACKSON, Miss. (AP) — Several asbestos companies have joined
together to file lawsuits against the tobacco giants, seeking
reimbursement for past claims by sick workers and settlement
awards to smokers exposed to asbestos. …"

Where There's Smoke, There's Cancer,
Asbestos I Can Tell

There's a controversy in the air
   that's making people sick:
Is it drawing in asbestos,
   or a little burning stick?
Now the parties take their fight to court,
   and both of 'em are seething;
They are spitting flame and kicking dust…
   I'm having trouble breathing.

Hear tobacco: they're concerned
   for each asbestos worker's health;
If he's sick, it isn't cigarettes,
   it's surely something ealth.
Never mind if he's a smoker,
   or a serious imbiber,
They're concerned about his diet…
   is he getting any fiber?

Hear asbestos: they're unjustly drained,
   and feeling rather stung.
They will shout about it…
   if it's on the lung, it's on the tongue.
Deeply certain of their innocence,
   they're sure they're getting soaked…
If a worker gets a cancer,
   it was something that he smoked.

Now asbestos sues tobacco,
   and it isn't any joke,
For the former's dream of profits
   may be going up in smoke.
See the lawyers lining up to push
   a case that tests their mettle…
And I understand next Saturday
   the pot will sue the kettle.

– The Yellow Doggerelist

(February 2001)

Copyright © 2001 Stephen S. Bates


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