Disorient Express

“KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) – A roller coaster derailment that left cars dangling at Worlds of Fun amusement park injured 13 people and led to a daring rescue effort by firefighters to bring stranded passengers safely back to the ground. Two Orient Express riders spent 2-1/2 hours Saturday night strapped into a car hanging about 40 feet overhead before rescuers could get them down. … None of the injured was seriously hurt. …” (7/19/1999)

[Hmm… what an apt name for the coaster. Houston will freeze over in mid-July before I ever mount one of those things.]

The Coaster’s Clear
or
Disorient Express

Unreliable as toasters
Are these modern roller coasters,
If you ride ’em, you may find you’re in a mess:
No one died, but don’t you know,
That without Monsieur Poirot,
It was murder on Disorient Express!

Riders speed along for miles;
We can see their screaming smiles,
As we watch them metamorphose into frowns:
See them coasting to a stop
With their bottoms on the top…
As amusement, well, it has its ups and downs.

Now if you should ask them why
They are hanging in the sky,
They will say they’re on the coaster seeking thrills.
This is entertainment? sure…
If you think you’ve had the cure,
And you’re looking to contribute to your ills!

Here you are at Worlds of Fun,
With your head below your bun,
And the ground no less than forty feet below;
Throw a hissy? throw a fit?
Throw a tantrum in a snit?
No, it’s likelier that “up” is what you’ll throw.

Bad enough, on plane or boat,
With your stomach in your throat,
But to volunteer to suffer such distress?
I will go on boat or plane,
But you’ll know I’ve gone insane
If you find me on Disorient Express!

– The Yellow Doggerelist

(July 1999)

Copyright © 1999 Stephen S. Bates

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