Byte Rage

(NY Times/Houston Chronicle) “Computers not the real reason for rage on job?” – “If you have hard feelings toward your hard drive, malicious thoughts about your monitor and consider drop-kicking your keyboard, take heart: You are not alone. A new survey suggests that computers are eliciting rage in the workplace, or at least taking the brunt of it. … Administrators reported ‘abusive and violent behavior’ by employees toward their computers. … employees smashed monitors, threw mice, kicked hard drives and shattered screens. … / [A psychologist] said employees are merely taking out the frustration they feel toward their bosses…”

A Graphical User In-Your-Face

There is nothing that is bruter
Than attacking your computer.
Don’t you understand, computers are your friends?
Don’t abandon point-and-clicking
For a frenzied punch-and-kicking;
If you do, you’ll only have to make amends.

Heed your mother, say it nice
While you’re dragging with your mice:
You can never be too careful where you drop;
And remember “thanks” and “please”
When you’re hitting any keys
To continue… or the boss may call a cop.

Keep a clean and tidy monitor:
Don’t ever point a gun at ‘er,
Or smash it for the garbage it displays;
And do not insert a Sloppy Joe
Where you have seen a floppy go…
If ever you expect to get a raise.

Nor, regrettably, may we drive
In a tank across our C drive,
For its contents may become a total loss.
So contain your ire, reserve it
For the folks who most deserve it;
Heed the maxim: spare the hardware; spite the boss!

– The Yellow Doggerelist

(March 1999)

Copyright © 1999 Stephen S. Bates

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