How To Write Doggerel

You want to write some doggerel?
  I’ll tell you what to do…
The first thing: make your readers laugh
   at what should make them spew.
That done, the next agenda is,
   be certain to offend.
Then force your rhyme: be sure each line
   displays a blunt, rough end.

Then choose a metric pattern that
   is hard on eye and ear;
Use words that make a sailor blush;
   that readers loathe and fear.
I swear that this is easier
   than falling off a log, girl;
Just sit you down and write your worst…

– The Yellow Doggerelist

(In honor of Ogden Nash’s birthday, 1998.)

Copyright © 1998 Stephen S. Bates

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